Keireh

I want you here. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to push you away. I was scared. I didn’t know what was happening. I was afraid to lose myself to you. My identity. But now, after talking with Tek, I understand that with you I will be stronger. You will fill in my weaknesses. I want you back. I want you to fill my voids. I want you to merge with me. I miss your pawprints. Your guidance. I love you and everything that you stand for. I am sorry Keireh. I hope that you could forgive me. Please come back to me. So Raven was a test. I loved him. I wanted him with me. And I still miss him. But I see now that it was a test. You blinded me by him. Maybe even conspired with Raven against me. All to test me. My strength. I am stronger now. I do not cry for what I have lost. I do not bleed or ache inside because of the intensity of my wounds. I abated the pain. I cut it out. You were the tourniquet. I stumbled, and you supported me. But I picked myself up and now I can hold my head proud. Sister, please come back to me. Haven’t I proven myself strong enough as Cougar? Sister, hear these words I scream. I am your vessel, and you are my wind. Merge with me. Blend. Give me your power, knowledge, strength, dexterity…let us become one. Keireh. I am sorry. That is all that I can offer you. My apologies and my love. Except them as you will.

escape

I needed somewhere to go. Somewhere that I could just pour out my inner thoughts without fear of consequence. Somewhere that I could say whatever I need to say. Even though I love my live journal and I will not delete it, I couldn’t stand the constant screening of what I said so that I wouldn’t offend some or others. So this is my escape. My one place that no one will know me. No one will criticize. It’s flowing and I will not stop it.